🪼time passing + 20 things to do before you turn 20

hot summer nights, mid july, when you and i were forever wild...

happy 12th day of writing consistently! i’m beginning this article at 12:30 am on the 12th day of writing because the house a couple of houses down is hosting this HUGE party with super loud music so i can’t sleep anyway, which is totally fine…

anyways, i wanted to yap today about time passing. first of all, august is nearly here, which is insane. july has always been my favorite month, especially that stretch in mid july when the days blend together - july 9th - 29th i’m looking at you. the cadence of summer has fully set in and the days are repetitive in the best way possible. this period of time in the year really truly embodies what lana del rey sings in young & beautiful, “hot summer nights, mid july, when you and i were forever wild...”

but august to me is like a leaf has turned. you look forward to september - school and the rush and change that comes with it. i feel it especially this year, the first year i’ve come back from college and stayed at home all summer. i feel excited - to meet new people, build connections, learn new things, and see college in a new light, one in which i am more settled - yet incredibly sad that summer will be over. it’s been so nice to be at home - my childhood bedroom unchanged, the bed still halfmade, no roommates, a place to call my own.

yet i know it is temporary. i’m struck by the fact that studies show that by the time you’re 20, you’ve spent 90% of time with parents. i know i felt that before i left for college but i feel it even more this time again. i know it to be more true - next summer, i’ll set out to find an internship elsewhere and eventually, when i graduate, i probably won’t live here - i have dreams in california (hard maybe), new york city, washington dc. this place will just be where i return for holiday breaks.

i’m also struck that with the turn of a new month, i’m nearing a new decade - 20 years old (!!). i’m already halfway there, with my birthday in january and it just now being july. that’s so scary too, to be honest - i don’t remember being 15, 16, 17. i only remember 18 because i was just 18 but even that year and many experiences are fading slowly. yet i’m not even two decades old, so what’s really to tell when i get to 50, 60, 70?

i know i’ll miss my parents so much when i go back to school - not only in the practical sense but in the cared for sense. i’m both so excited to be my own person again - manage my own schedule, my own affairs, what i want to do - but i know i’ll miss the family dinners, the way my mom bugs me about sunscreen. i really just keep learning the same lesson again - appreciate the present every day.

20 is scary and exciting - a decade of adulthood (maybe finally learning to do taxes or something idk), of changes :’) i recently asked Google what 20 things i should do before i turn 20 and here’s what it had to say:

a very random collection

some of these i do (write every single day, i see you!! maybe i’ll do a writing challenge to write every single day until i turn 20 but i’m not sure how y’all will bear that - 180 ish days away lol). i’ve let some grudges go and jobs and would like to think that i’ve learned some creative skills (does writing still count?). some of these lists are a bit goofy: this site recommends kissing someone on New Year’s Eve

with that, i propose my own list of 20 things to do before i turn 20 - i’ll check in before my 20th birthday to really see if they do come true!!

• Stay up all night talking to friends (and/or studying with friends)

• fall in love (me manifesting rn…)

• go to a concert

• brush up on my Chinese

• Volunteer

• go to a cafe alone and/or restaurant

• tell people i love them at every given opportunity

• learn to say no to opportunities

• learn how taxes work (and mortgages too)

• be consistent with learning and/or writing about history (yay newsletter :P)

• dance in the rain?? so questionable

• throw a surprise birthday party!!

• Vote!!!

• go hiking in Boston

• explore downtown Boston - go thrifting??

• go on regular dates w/my roommate

• hug more people :”)

• send my friend/family postcards + letters

• eat some good pasta

• go viral on social media

as you can see, some of these are super hypothetical - some of them are a little more realistic. i’m excited to check back into these goals a little later (some of them are also just flat out attempting fate so i’m not actually sure if they’re goals LOL).

soon it will be august & time to continue living for the hope of it all 🤍 as always, thank you for reading :)

see you tomorrow,

Karen